film at eleven

I missed blogging last week, and damned near missed this week, too, because my time is not as valuable as that of my doctors.

They are bad to make me wait.

Not to mention, I had to disc-out (take two hours of discretionary time at the end of my shift) on Wednesday for an appointment that never took place, and showed up yesterday for an appointment that got cancelled whilst I was waiting in the examination room (forty-five minutes after my appointed time), which means I now must disc-out again on Saturday or not get my ‘scrips.

Makes a girl want to become the world’s oldest pre-med student.

So, That Man of Mine is working for a casino that has, amongst other amenities (such as a salon; a bunch of decent restaurants and bars; an additional food court for people who actually prefer Sbarro’s to genuine food; and a prime rib buffet), an eighteen-screen movie theater.

To which employees, including armed security officers, are entitled to two free passes per day (based on seating availability).

And whereas That Man really freaking hates to go to the movies, he also hates to give up a freebie, which is why we got to see Cloud Atlas last week and Wreck-It Ralph Wednesday night.

The seating availability clause is why we won’t get to see Lincoln for about a week or so after it opens, but this particular casino is, indeed, one of the “select theaters” the deep-voiced announcer is talking about when he says “Opening November 16th in select theaters.”

I didn’t have to trick That Man into wanting to see Lincoln. Aside from the fact that he does have a certain interest in American history, he’s pleased that Liam Neeson backed out of the title role because he felt he was too old.

Sorry. Old or not, Liam Neeson’s still fucking BOMB, and the only reason I didn’t go see Taken 2 for the second time was that the other clause with the free movie passes is that any guest has to see the same movie as the employee.

Himself didn’t want to see Taken 2 again, and he most certainly did not want to, as I suggested the first time, sit in a different row, possibly in Mexico.

Did I get sidetracked by Liam Neeson again? How does that keep happening?

Oh, right. Dead sexy.

In all seriousness, I am very grateful to That Man for taking me to the movies, but whilst I did not have to trick him into wanting to see Lincoln, I did trick him into Cloud Atlas, which was how we got to see Wreck-It Ralph the following week.

Here’s how that worked:

  1. We arrived at the theater.
  2. We presented his security ID.
  3. The girl asked us what we wanted to see.
  4. I looked up and said, “Ooh! Cloud Atlas!” (happy sigh)
  5. Then I paused and said, “We could see Wreck-It Ralph. That’s a cartoon.”
  6. That Man asked, “What’s Cloud Atlas about?”
  7. Without mentioning that it took me two fucking weeks to read the book because I kept getting confused and having to flip back (but in a good way), I simply said, “It has Tom Hanks.”
  8. “Two for Cloud Atlas,” That Man told the girl.

The movie was actually, for me, a little easier to follow than the book was. Himself was thoroughly befuddled through much of it, made worse by the fact that he insists on having a $5 bottle of water at the movies to make up for not drinking Diet Coke anymore, so he had to get up partway through and missed a crucial bit, because, when you’re dealing with Cloud Atlas, it’s all crucial bits.

Bottom line on Cloud Atlas: I would prefer to see it again on DVD or Blu-Ray, because, like the book, I had about a bazillion instances where I really needed to flip back.

It was, however, smashingly beautiful, and, just as I promised That Man, it had Tom Hanks, who got himself into a spot of trouble on the Today show by channeling one of the characters he plays; specifically, the one who would, in a nationally-broadcast interview, say one of the seven words you can’t say on television.

So the other night, since I had mentioned Wreck-It Ralph, and it was a cartoon, That Man of Mine decided we should, in fact, see it, and so we did.

It was in two different arenas, and they sent us into the one that had it in 3D, which means we got to see 3D trailers, too, which means we’re probably going to get to see Oz the Great and Powerful when it comes out, so yay.

Yet again, Pixar hit us with a charming short before the film. I hate to give away the ending, but since it’s so close to the beginning anyway, you can probably see it coming:

The guy gets the girl, but I seriously wondered how long she’d want him when she realized he was no longer gainfully employed.

Wreck-It Ralph was gorgeous, as most Pixar features are, but I vastly preferred the inside jokes and visual puns to the actual plot.

The castle had Oreos as guards. They chanted “O-REE-O. YO-HO” as they marched, and I laughed my arse off, which I wish I could do more literally, because that is a lot of arse.

That Man was in the mens’ room at the time, returning the rented $5 water, and when he came back, I had to explain it to him.

Also, the cops were doughnuts, named, respectively, Winchell and Duncan, and when they sent out the dogs, they meant Devil-Dogs.

I love calorie-laden humor, which is probably why I will never be able to laugh my arse off.

However, I did join The Biggest Loser initiative at work, not to win, but just to not be alone. They gave me an app to log my water intake and my exercise, so we’ll see how that works out.

So far, I’ve lost two pounds, but I might have lost more if that damned casino did not also have a deli, and said deli did not have pastrami, and said pastrami did not have calories, fat, sodium, or extreme awesomeness.

Just sayin’.


Tags:

drinking: ice water
listening to: Breaking Benjamin, I Will Not Bow
scent addiction: fresh popcorn. totally says there’s a movie coming.

4 thoughts on “film at eleven

  1. Oh, my! In calorie-laden non-humor, Hostess (which I knew as Continental Bakers) is closing down nationwide, including about 200 jobs in the immediate area. If you see Devil Dogs now, it will be because someone else bought the brand.

    Too old? One of the most appealing men I’ve seen on TV in recent weeks was the 82-year-old Sean Connery. (And the other is the too-young Mark Harmon.)

    • I thought Devil Dogs were Drakes, but I don’t much care. They make me itchy.

      I think that any of ‘em: Sean Connery, Mark Harmon, Liam Neeson, and you can throw in Alan Rickman, too, pretty much blow away the competition.

  2. Hey, GW! Always great to see what you’re up to!! I had to escape, so I took in the latest James Bond movie. I won’t spoil it for you, but it’s time for Daniel Craig to retire, as Liam Neeson would be a far better Bond. As a kid, my parents sent me to the movies with candy stuffed in my pockets (European Austerity Plan) and I had it confiscated for contraband once. So wish I knew Liam to make an introduction to the Golf Widow! That would be so cool. lol! : )

    • I wanted to see Skyfall myself, but that one is NOT at our theater yet. I’ve no idea why. Possibly so Wreck-It Ralph can keep running.

      I actually now have to meet Justin Bieber. I promised the nurse at my primary’s office that if I ever meet him, I will trade him to her for Liam Neeson.

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